23 7 / 2014
Anybody know what to do if you’re having a panic attack?
Find somewhere quite away from anything and anyone, unless you are near a place you know you feel safe like for example your bed or a friend who will not aggravate you with ordering you to calm down. If you are near a free health clinic that provides psychiatric support go there. If not, go to that safe place of the safest place you can find and focus on breathing in your nose and out your mouth. Even if you’re sobbing and snotty force it. The physical sensation and the action of concentrating on opening and closing your throat to redirect the air will help bring the adrenaline under control. However, if you start to feel faint, vomit, can’t find a safe place, etc. don’t hesitate to call 911 or a support hotline. If these are often get support hotlines into your phone’s contact list ASAP.
If the breathing exercise works and you start to feel some control start thinking of the alphabet and naming foods that go with each letter. This is the next level of distraction that can help you through the attack until you can either calm down, get medicine, or get help.
If I think of anything else I’ll make another reply.
17 7 / 2014
16 7 / 2014
My visit to get screened for cancer:
- 1: "Sorry your boyfriend couldn't wait for you in the waiting room, it makes women feel uncomfortable."
- 2: "He wasn't my boyfriend and I don't see how it would make them uncomfortable, but that's my opinion. He was here for moral support. I understood, and so does he."
- 1: "So he's your...."
- 2: "Friend."
- 1: (During the question asking) "How many sexual partners have you had?"
- 2: "11."
- 1: "How old were you when you first became sexually active?"
- 2: "....Loaded question but....14, I guess."
- 1: "You're sexually active, then."
- 2: "Well....I guess...but..."
- 1: "How many times have you been pregnant?"
- 2: "Uh. 0."
- 1: "O...kayy...-Checks 'condoms' as my preferred use of birth control-"
- 2: "I don't use condoms. Or take birth control."
- 1: "Then how do you avoid getting pregnant?"
- 2: "With homosexuality."
- 2: "I fuck girls."
11 7 / 2014
Let’s face it: in today’s society we put so much emphasis on physical appearance that it dictates how we very well behave. “That is not lady like” and “pink is a girl’s color” are just a couple of examples on how we limit our outlets of action and creativity. Notice that? Self image… creativity.
See, that’s the point, isn’t it?
Girl’s wear heels, avoid crossing their legs for fear of flashing, are taught to keep the V-card intact until they find the supposed ‘one,’ to keep their hair long, wear make up, subject their bodies to a thousand chemicals to look good and subject their physical frame to a thousand tortures to obtain an impossible appearencethat has been created via Photoshop.
Women aren’t the only ones. Men are taught to not cry, drink beer, keep their faces clean shaven, get laid or be lame, conquer the business world, and music, art, or any act of creation is ‘for sissys.’ You think it may not exist? Here’s a nice little story: while I was in high school, there was a guy who wanted to learn to play flute. He was hazed so much by the other members of the wind ensemble for learning a ‘girly instrument’ that he changed over to clarinet. Clarinet was considered still girly, and the hazing continued until he dropped out of the music classes. I’ll have you know that of the five big names I studied in the musical flute world at the time had three men among them.
This affects our magick as well. We are taught we must have this tool, this herb, this oil, dress like this, or the spell won’t work. It’s at the point that more than once a practitioner having to make do will become paralyzed mid working and the spell or ritual will fizzle out. This limitation of thought makes it so our will does not flourish, and we are so worried about having the wrong thing or missing something that any kind of visualization we muster skews.
This is the biggest reason spells don’t work: we are worried about the details, about what we have been told we have to be and have to have. You may notice that the true masters, while they talk about the tools (Scott Cunningham, for example), will often say you don’t have to have them. Yeah, we often don’t think that, sadly.
But look! Christians don’t need their Bible’s with them when they pray. They don’t have to fall on their knees to offer up a plea. They could be standing there smiling and talking away while secretly asking for assistance fitting in/leaving/making a good impression.
In a way this is how I do my magick. I will be chanting for the bad to go away and the good to come in while dealing with an annoying customer. I will be breathing love in through my nose and exhaling the stank of annoyance out my mouth when upset, or I will be driving and draw the elemental cross and send it out to a patch of road where a cat was hit in memory of the creature. I don’t wait until I’m home and in a Circle. I create my inner Circle, I connect with my soul, and I work my magick there and send it forth, embracing the gift given me.
You don’t need to be slim, sexy, glossed over in make up, muscular, grayed, garbed, or naked to do magick. Inside our minds, our hearts, our souls, is a Circle that is never dismissed, never broken. It is one we have been born with, and it is within this Circle that we ask for the quick guidance, create the chant for safety, or wish for what we do not have. The Goddess loves us, no matter how we look, what we lack in supposed must-have tools, or our home situation.
It’s not about always being able to draw the circle around our physical bodies. It’s about finding the Circle inside us, where all our magick comes from, and the crossroad where the Goddess stands waiting, the God at her side, arms open and ready.
Just close your eyes and look. You don’t have to spend money to pray, worship, or work a spell just right. Because all of it - everything you need - is inside you.